I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
