Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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