I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
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I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
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Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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