i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize