Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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