Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
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