It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
