bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
