She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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