It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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