I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I need to stop coming to work sober
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
