escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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