i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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