no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
