So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
