I wanna passion pit in your ass
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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