I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
