What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
