i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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