Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
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