if i can run in heels then i can drive
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
We were destined to go to rehab together
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
