So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Randomize
