So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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