My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I think I just sharted jello shots
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
