I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
