Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
This is the high leading the old right now
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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