Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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