The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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