Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
