i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Randomize
