Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I have a pirate flag
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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