I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize