No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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