do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Randomize
