why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
