tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
