I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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