so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
