forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
