Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I wear drunk well.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
