Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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