They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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