I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
