You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
