And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
