after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
