Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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