i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
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