everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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