That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Randomize
