Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
