Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
