Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
