Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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