You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
