tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I party with great urgency now.
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